Hold On
by night killers-sadosky
Summary: Duzell thinks on what his reason for being here is. And once she's gone, he has no reason. my first song ficcy! ONESHOT! yey! a review! cry so happy!


_**Hold On**_

**_This world, this world is cold _**

**_But you don't, you don't have to go_**

Duzzel was in his kitten form sleeping in Ushtars lap while she was reading. "You know Duzie...?" Duzel opened one lazy eyes at her. "I sometimes wonder what my meaning in life is." She set Duzell down. "To feed, love and care for me." Duzell said when he transeformed into his real self.

**_You're feeling sad you're feeling lonely _**

**_And no one seems to care _**

**_You're mother's gone and your father hits you _**

**_This pain you cannot bare_**

Ishtar giggled. She hugged Duzell and got up. "speaking of feeding, I'm hungry. Be back soon!" Duzel watched her with a cats eye. Every curve, every jingle of her jewelry inticed him. As soon as she left he layed back down to nap again, but insted the question she asked bothered. What was HIS reason for being here?

**_But we all bleed the same way as you do_**

**_We all have the same things to go through_**

Duzel wondered what his reason was here for. It cirtainly wasn't to find Phelios. Each time he got a lead, and she sought after it, they were always stumped by the dissipearing act. He just didn't understand. Duzel suddenly realized he was spending more time with Ishtar that usual. Ishtar. Her name sent butterflys to his stomache and made his heart leap. He was doing this lately. 'Maybe I'm in love...' Duzell thought happily to himself.

**_Hold on...if you feel like letting go _**

**_Hold on...it gets better than you know_**

'Ishtar is my reason for life. She has saved me as a kitten, and I her from poison. I needed her help at the time. But little did I know that I needed her.' Duzell thought. He walked out to the garden, and hand picked some fresh red roses. some buds, some fully bloomed. He also picked some babys breath to add sort of a romantic twist to it.

**_Your days you say they're way too long _**

**_And your nights you can't sleep at all (hold on)_**

**_And you're not sure what you're looking for _**

**_But you don't want to no more _**

**_And you're not sure what you're waiting for but you don't want to no more_**

Duzell floated happily down the hall. Flowers in hand, and every intention of telling Ishter he loved her. Telling her, that if she wanted, he's give up on trying to find phelios. As he passed down a hall with her fresh scent he heard voices. One was Ishtars. He got closer. Instantly he realized the other. Darres. Just one more step... "I love you." His flowers fell from his hand and hit the cold stones.

**_But we all bleed the same way as you do _**

**_And we all have the same things to go through_**

The words struck his heart like lightning. "I love you." Ishtar's sweet heart belonged to Darres. The one thing that was keeping him here. Her lovely, big heart, filled with so much love she cared for me. Duzell hoped he had a chance at love with her. But it was fleeting away. She didn't love him. He was only second best. Only second.

**_Hold on...if you feel like letting go _**

**_Hold on...it gets better than you know_**

Duzell gave up. He just couldn't win. He just couldn't do it. Never had he though fate would deprive him of anything. He couldn't bring himself to fight anymore. His arms hung heavily like two lead weights. His legswould not obey his mind. His heart was stilled with pain. His lungs felt deprived of air. His brain was numb with shock. He just couldn't go on. Negative thoughts about himself floated through his head.

**_Don't stop looking you're one step closer _**

**_Don't stop searching it's not over...hold on_**

Floating aimlessly throughout the castle, he felt more alone then ever. His hear felt as though some on ripped in out, stabbed many gapping holes into it, and replaced it, along with dropping a weight as heavy as the world onto his heart. His lungs felt pinched. The air didn't seem to want to enter in. It was also wanting him to die. To rest eternally.

**_What are you looking for?  
What are you waiting for?  
Do you know what you're doing to me?  
Go ahead...what are you waiting for?_**

Duzzel saw the dagger in the armory. Slowly, without though, he picked up the dagger, and slowly made his way to the balcony, where he could smell the salty sweet air one last time. He felt like he was floating. His brain couldn't even register the fact that he was really walking. Silver hair flowed behind him like a flowing waterfall. Red eyes glazed over, with a hazy, dreamy look. When he was on the balcony, he stopped, wondering if this was the right thing.

**_Hold on...if you feel like letting go _**

**_Hold on...it gets better than you know_**

He decided he wasn't going to waste anymore time. The dagger, poised at his chest. His time here was pointless. Phelios wasn't here. He would never carry out his plans. Love wasn't here. Ishtar loved Darres more than him. Who could love a vampire, beside a puppet, and puppets can't love. Taking a deep breath of cold air, he plunged the dagger in. White lightning pain spread through him like and ice-cream in the summer. He fell, fading away.

**_Don't stop looking you're one step closer _**

**_Don't stop searching it's not over..._**

Duzell felt cold of the floor. His blood spilling around the floor. A familiar shreik didn't suprise him. But, the heat, from a pair of petite arms wrapping around him. "Duzie..." Ishtars familar voice spread through his head like light. "Hold on. Don't go, please... don't go..." Her voice pleaded. Duzell felt himself slipping. Into the unknown. Into a golden light.

**_Hold on...if you feel like letting go_**

**_Hold on...it gets better than you know...hold on_**

And for a moment, he felt complete freedom. Warmth and love in the solace of Ishtars warm embrace. Her lovely concerned voice. He felt the hint of something. Something he was looking for, for a long time. His stomach was alive with butterflys. And as he floated to the clouds above, He heard her say "I love you Duzell, please... hold on!" He smiled feeling her tear on his cold lips.

Love.

I love you Ishtar, always and forever.


End file.
